Believe in yourself. Believe in your talents. Believe in your dreams. Believe in what matters most to you.
I’ve often said don’t let a person, a single action or a profession define you. Your definition comes from knowing what matters, and always putting that first.
Those who know me, know I’ve had my share of jobs. As a matter of fact, those who don’t know me well, define me by that, but that is not who I am. Who I am is a mother and a wife. Who I am is a daughter, a sister and an aunt. All of those roles supersede what I choose to do for a living.
I’m sure there are many reading this who are misinterpreted and misunderstood. I’ve spent the last few years of my life trying to make sense of my decisions to people who really don’t need to understand. I always feel like I need to explain it, but guess what? I’ve learned that I don’t. I’ve learned that no matter how much I try to explain, there are still going to be those people who just won’t take the time to really understand.
The last time I checked, those people do not live in my home or walk in my shoes. Maybe if they did, what they would see is the bigger picture. They would see that being a mom is far more important to me than anything else I do in my life. I believe that if I mess up raising my son, nothing else I ever do will really matter.
I’ve learned that it takes a whole lot of energy worrying about what other people think of me. I’ve learned that I spend too much time explaining my life, when what I should be doing is living it!
The past few months have been the best months I can remember in a long time. I made decisions that have really rocked the boat for some, but for me, the boat has finally settled into calmer waters. I am enjoying each day. My soul is peaceful. God has dropped me into the light. I am spending time with my son, and it is time I would have missed had I kept doing what was expected of me.
So listen, do what makes you happy. Live your life. Do what is best for your family. Follow your dreams and your heart. Dare to be a rebel. Wear what you want, work where you want, and never let anyone define you.
Stand up for yourself. Put your children first, no matter the sacrifice! Believe in who you are, and know the people in your life that accept you and see the real you. The people that don’t need explanations to the decisions you make for yourself or your family. Know who those people are, and surround yourself with them. Be encouraged by them, and their acceptance of you. Be true to yourself.
I have learned from experience that you will never be truly happy if you live your life according to what others think you should be doing, or what others think you need. You know what you need. You know what will really make you happy. So take some time. Figure it out. Re-discover yourself. For once, do what will make you happy. Do what will make your life better. De-stress and worry less. Others may not get it — but so what!
If you spend your life doing what others expect you to do, than your life will never be a true reflection of you.
 
JULIE STAHLEY-DORMAN currently resides in Milton but grew up in Mifflinburg. She and her husband of 18 years have a son. To comment, send an e-mail to DORMAN50@msn.com.